The chilling of the morning

Woke up this morning to radiohead...how uplifting right? Well yes actually...No matter how sad a piece of music might seem or anything creative for that matter...it inspires me. To wake up, to go out, to look at the sky and see shape of creatures, to skip about even though I'm an "adult", to paint all the silly little characters I have floating in and out of my mind. Last night I ended up being awesomely lame by chatting on facebook for about 2 hours here and there. To some friends here and to another in Ann Arbor. Even though I have a love/hate relationship with most things impersonal such as computers, this technology does lend itself to broadening horizons and relationships...hmmm...yes....I also managed to eat pizza, drink wine, watch Gettysburg and the Mavs vs. Lakers game(which ended up sucking ass), and going on a long walk. Somehow I have also agreed to hopefully go on a roadtrip from D.C to Austin. HA! Oh there's the Les that I love. I can see it now...there's just something about being free in a car and watching new scenery float by through the frame of a passenger seat window. I feel creative and alive watching something new unfold. I've been taking roadtrips since I was a little girl so maybe that's also why I love them so much...something familiar surrounded by the unfamiliar.

good feeling...

A lot in my life is up in the air currently...job, love life, religious beliefs, bank account, and more...it's slightly alarming but above all it's exciting. If I can just make it through the tedious part of enjoying the "in the meantime" sort of periods then I think I'll be a-ok.

Happy Early Spanksgiving

I loved moss when I was four years old in Indiana and I am 25 years old and still am fascinated by its fuzzy green brilliance. I went a-walkin' yesterday in the woods behind my house and discovered this little patch lit up in the fresh golden light of an Autumn Texas sun.


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I just broke up with my on again off again love of 5ish years-for good. Our relationship was really only rocky for the last year or so due to many reasons but the main one being my increasing independence. I guess I am not really too sad about the break-up except that I really did enjoy his company and that he was my first in many respects. The first person I said, "I love you" to and thought that maybe I'd marry, the first person that hurt me so badly I thought I'd never recover, the first person I hurt badly, and the first person I made love to. Over time, some people just grow and realize, at least for now, that they're better apart. We met at the co-op which also makes out relationship so meaningful...we were both house director and understood how difficult and mentally draining it can be leading a house of 100+ crazies! It was a good run for a relationship but I'm ready to find someone easier to be in a relationship with...or maybe no one at all...at least for a while. Being a single Texas gal ain't so bad...Of course, being an imaginative free spirit, I always have crushes on people...dammit...I thought that by the time I was this old I would have grown out of that, but then again, it's just too much fun.

So tomorrow is Spanksgiving '08 huh? What pray-tell am I thankful for? Umm...off the top of my head...that I finally fucking graduated college...yes it was 6 months ago, but still. There were times when I was so mentally disillusioned with college that I was desperate to drop out...to maybe just, as Dr. Timothy Leary says, "Turn on, tune in, and drop out"...hmmm...wha ha ha ha...I am also thankful for the many opportunities I have had in life such as being involved with co-ops in various capacities, living in Brooklyn, backpacking abroad, etc. I realize that I have had a blessed life. What else...I am thankful for my relationships with amazing friends, kooks, family, and of course, animals(my joy in life). Lastly, I am thankful for the ability to know what I want to do with my life...this is not to say that I know exactly how I am going to travel this road or where it will take me, but I am excited. My passions lead me in the direction of working with and for people. Hopefully this involves teaching, kids, art, and being able to truly be me. Each day I am trying not to lead a life of, "quiet desperation" like so many humans do. I can almost be sure that it means being poor, being a bit of a nomad, and being patient, and I am a-ok with that. Here's to being me and being thankful...until next time. Love and peace, astro-les