I loved moss when I was four years old in Indiana and I am 25 years old and still am fascinated by its fuzzy green brilliance. I went a-walkin' yesterday in the woods behind my house and discovered this little patch lit up in the fresh golden light of an Autumn Texas sun.......
I just broke up with my on again off again love of 5ish years-for good. Our relationship was really only rocky for the last year or so due to many reasons but the main one being my increasing independence. I guess I am not really too sad about the break-up except that I really did enjoy his company and that he was my first in many respects. The first person I said, "I love you" to and thought that maybe I'd marry, the first person that hurt me so badly I thought I'd never recover, the first person I hurt badly, and the first person I made love to. Over time, some people just grow and realize, at least for now, that they're better apart. We met at the co-op which also makes out relationship so meaningful...we were both house director and understood how difficult and mentally draining it can be leading a house of 100+ crazies! It was a good run for a relationship but I'm ready to find someone easier to be in a relationship with...or maybe no one at all...at least for a while. Being a single Texas gal ain't so bad...Of course, being an imaginative free spirit, I always have crushes on people...dammit...I thought that by the time I was this old I would have grown out of that, but then again, it's just too much fun.
So tomorrow is Spanksgiving '08 huh? What pray-tell am I thankful for? Umm...off the top of my head...that I finally fucking graduated college...yes it was 6 months ago, but still. There were times when I was so mentally disillusioned with college that I was desperate to drop out...to maybe just, as Dr. Timothy Leary says, "Turn on, tune in, and drop out"...hmmm...wha ha ha ha...I am also thankful for the many opportunities I have had in life such as being involved with co-ops in various capacities, living in Brooklyn, backpacking abroad, etc. I realize that I have had a blessed life. What else...I am thankful for my relationships with amazing friends, kooks, family, and of course, animals(my joy in life). Lastly, I am thankful for the ability to know what I want to do with my life...this is not to say that I know exactly how I am going to travel this road or where it will take me, but I am excited. My passions lead me in the direction of working with and for people. Hopefully this involves teaching, kids, art, and being able to truly be me. Each day I am trying not to lead a life of, "quiet desperation" like so many humans do. I can almost be sure that it means being poor, being a bit of a nomad, and being patient, and I am a-ok with that. Here's to being me and being thankful...until next time. Love and peace, astro-les
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